A nut job for a professor
by Cookie05
Summary: Everyone's favourite British gentleman, England (or Iggy) decides to teach at Hogwarts, but from the point of view of the Golden Trio not everything is as it seems. There are theory's spreading about the new Care of Magical Creatures Professors, rumour's that he may be a nutjob.
1. Chapter 1

Flying Mint Bunny.

So I've been really into both Hetalia and Harry Potter recently so with that and the fact that I got a Flying Mint Bunny plushie the other day this was born.  
So enjoy.

"Okay class settle down," The Care of Magical Creatures teacher, Professor Kirkland instructed. "Today I've got a great lesson for you."  
Harry studied the strange Professor carefully, his blonde hair was ruffled as usual but his bright green eyes sparkled with excitement, by the looks things this was going to be some surprise.  
"Let's hope this isn't a re-run of Buck-beak." Ron whispered and Harry (even though he had stuck up for Hagrid), couldn't help but agree.  
"Okay, everyone ready?" Professor Kirkland asked,snapping Harry's attention back to the teacher. "Flying Mint Bunny!" The Professor called. Flying Mint Bunny? Harry had to hold back a scoff, and by the looks of it he wasn't the only one.  
"Flying Mint Bunny?" Draco Malfoy exclaimed, "What on earth is Flying Mint Bunny?"  
"He's right here." Professor Kirkland waved his hand to the air in front of him.  
There was nothing there. "Um, sir?" Hermione tentatively raised her hand. "There's nothing there."  
"What?" The Professor's grin faltered. "You mean you can't see him?"  
"See what? Is this some kind of joke?" Malfoy shouted "There's nothing there!"  
"Oh come on! You guys are wizards! I can understand why Ame-Alfred can't see Flying Mint Bunny but this is ridiculous!" Professor Kirkland sighed, "Okay, we'll I didn't think you wouldn't be able to see Flying Mint Bunny so I didn't exactly have anything else planned, so, how about you leave early and next week I'll bring in something you can actually see. Class dismissed."

Malfoy muttered a quick, "My father will here about this." but didn't object when the rest of the class walked away heading back to the castle. "Well that was... Interesting." Harry spoke up.  
"That guys a nut job!"  
"Ron!" Hermione scolded, "You can't say that!"  
"Well he is, why did he think we could see whatever the hell it was? And don't even get me started on the Howler he got last week, his friends were calling him from the mental part of Azkaban from the sounds of it."  
"Well I will admit that the Howler was weird-and the guy with the French accent sounded seriously creepy, but there must have been a reason why he thought we should have seen Flying Mint Bunny, it's a shame it would have been fascinating!"

It was getting dark when Harry returned from Quidditch practice that night. Walking back to the Gryffindor common room he was stopped by some rambling.  
"But they should have been able to see him Scotland... Yes I know that America and France and the others can't see him either but the students are magical! In theory... Don't give me that Scotland I know what I'm talking about... Okay I'll see you later Scotland and don't forget to remind the others about the meeting... Yes I know that Wales will come but Ireland may persuade North Ireland not to come and I cant deal with that right now, knowing you, you might not even show up. And don't forget to tell Romania and Norway that I can't come to the magic trio meeting next week, unless they want to come over here... Yes that might not actually be the best idea, okay I'll see you then Scotland. Bye."  
There was a beep that Harry realised came from a phone and then Professor Kirkland's footsteps walking away.  
"Wow, maybe Ron was right, Professor Kirkland really is a nut job."

It may be made into a series of one-shots if its popular, I would like to do something with the rest of the magic trio (Romania and Norway) and the Howler thing could be quiet interesting if I get inspiration. I'm also not sure about the title so if you have any ideas for a new one just leave it in a review. If anyone has any ideas I will gladly accept them and try to write them, so the more people review the more stories there will (hopefully)  
Thanks for reading and please review : )


	2. Chapter 2

The Howler

By popular demand I have written a sequel. This features the Howler mentioned previous chapter. Enjoy : )

It was a usual morning at Hogwarts. At the Slytherin table Draco Malfoy was bragging very loudly about the latest news his father had sent him. Luna Lovegood was at the Ravenclaw table telling anyone who would listen-which wasn't many, about narges. The Gryffindor table was full of chatter mostly about the win at the Quidditch match the other day.  
"And that dive was absolutely amazing Harry!" Ron exclaimed using sound effects and hand gestures to illustrate.  
Hermione sighed. "I honestly don't understand what you enjoy so much about Quidditch, it's only a sport."  
"Well I don't understand what you enjoy so much about books, but you don't see me complaining!" Ron shot back.  
"I'll have you know that Hogwarts: A History is an extremely interesting read."  
Harry sighed as he watched his friends argue, he was waiting for Hedwig to come back with Sirius' reply. As if Sirius (or Hedwig) had heard his thoughts, the mail came. 'Interrupting Ron and Hermione's argument' Harry thought happily. But it wasn't Hedwig that caught Harry's eye. There was a small white bird that looked a bit like a dove carrying... A Howler.  
"I feel really sorry for whoever that belongs to." Ron sympathised.  
"I wonder who's it is?" Hermione wondered.  
They didn't have to wait long to find out. The dove headed straight to the teachers table, in particular to Professor Kirkland, the Care of Magical Creatures professor.  
The Golden Trio watched with avid interest as the small bird dropped the letter on the Professor's full English breakfast and then flew out of the window to who knows where. Professor Kirkland looked quite startled to have a letter dropped on his breakfast but the expression soon turned into fear when he realised what kind of letter it was. By the looks of it the Howler was an impatient one, it wasn't long before sparks started to fly and it exploded. Unleashing an unbelievably loud American accent.  
"YO! IGGY, WE HEARD FROM SCOTTY THAT YOU WENT TO PIGFARTS TO TEACH!" (From the background of the Howler a Scottish accent could be heard "Don't call me that you Yankee! And it's Hogwarts not Pigfarts.")  
"WHATEVER DUDE!" Unadiuable arguing could be heard from the Howler. Just then the American accent was replaced with an extremely creepy French one.  
"Bonjour Angleterre. I can't believe you left the fabulous moi here with all these idiots to teach school kids! How could you leave me here, I thought we were friends we've been through so much together..."  
The ranting got quieter and it sounded like someone else had picked up the Howler.  
"Hi Arthur," A whisper sounded, even through the loudness of the Howler Harry struggled to hear what the man said. "I hope you enjoy teaching."  
"Who are you?"  
"I'm Mathew"  
"Hallo, Es ist the Awesome me here. Vhat on earth is this, it's so not awesome." The German accent was interuppted by a 'BANG' "Vill you stop hitting me vith that frying pang!"  
All the arguing was then interrupted by a terrifying shout. "EVERYONE SHUT UP! Vill someone please send that letter so ve can continue vith this meeting."  
"PASTAAAAAAAAAA!"  
This time the letter was picked up by someone with an umemotional Norwegian accented voice. "Bye Arthur, I hope you have fun teaching and I'm sorry about the Howler but it was your brothers idea."  
Someone then joined the Norwegian at the Howler. "Yeah and Lukas and I will see you next week for the magic trio meeting. By the way you cant persuade us, we are coming to Hogwarts whether you like it or not. LUKAS! He won't call you big brother! Get over it! See you Arthur."  
And with that the Howler promptly burst into flames leaving ashes on the long abandoned breakfast. The hall was filled with absolute silence for the first time since the start of the year. And with that Professor Kirkland stood up and left with his remaining dignity-which wasn't much. Ron broke the silence between the trio. "Bloody hell, he has some strange friends."

And for once Hermione didn't prove him wrong.

By the way the bird who delivered the letter was Pierre, France's dove.  
As previous if anyone has ideas for me to write just leave a review, if I get inspiration the next chapter will be Norway's and Romania's visit to Hogwarts.


End file.
